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I Just Need to Stay Awake
It’s been increasingly difficult to concentrate on anything. The challenge isn’t with external circumstances; it’s entirely within me.
I’m just so incredibly tired.
I can’t quite pinpoint why, but every time I manage to build some momentum for my projects, something invariably disrupts it.
It’s not that I lack a plan or a purpose — I have both!
My long-term goal, dating back to 2017, has been to achieve independence and get away from some soul-wrecking nonsense. Unfortunately, that path was completely derailed by some avoidable health issues and the unnecessary, damaging interference of certain individuals.
Around 2022, my condition had improved significantly. I even began studying again and picking up new skills, but again, the very same people pushed me straight to the edge, leading to severe bulimic and suicidal episodes.
From that point, I had to start from square one.
My immediate plan was to quickly get settled in my new living space, creating a proper environment for working and writing. Sadly, I was triggered again — for the third time in 12 years, by the very same culprits.
The stress isn’t just mentally taxing; it manifests physically, leading to seemingly never-ending doctor’s appointments and a whole host of…
